The Ice Princess.............

I’ve always admired figure skating.

As a young child ice skating was in the same category as Disney World characters.
Since it was not available to me in the real tangible sense, the allure made it all the more intense.
What would it feel like to glide over ice on skates?
It looked so graceful….
So intricate…..
The dazzling sexy costumes the female skaters would wear……
The lifts…
The turns….
The precision.....
All those seemingly impossible maneuvers.

Fantasy upon fantasy built up in my head.

I used to WAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT for the figure skating championships every Olympics!
Did 4 years always have to take soooooooooo long to come?
It was also the one and only reason why I would ever venture to watch the Winter Olympics (which for some reason Canada seems to always be geared up for!)

I would imagine skating with my prince charming.
Totally corny right? :-)
 

But as human beings, we always want what we cannot have.
And since ice skating was something I couldn’t have as a child growing up in a tropical African country (a few decades ago), it just remained one of those magical things.

As I grew older, and as my phobia (irrational fear, I know, I know…….) for falling grew more intense…
My fantasy of ice skating kinda waned……...err NOT.
But I just KNEW it was one of those things I simply could not do.
Because…..
I was too scared to fall!
 

Remember I said irrational fear….
I know…
Le sigh.

 

I did try it once however.
I always say try something at least once……..
And I was one of those people who just cannot let go of the side railings.
As little kids barely out of their diapers were zooming all over the place on those slits they call skates, I was the desperado clutching at the side rails….
You know…..
The ones EVERY skating rink has!
What a total waste of time and money.

So since this became THE one thing that I know I cannot do, rather than mourn my ineptitude, the fantasy of it just kept on growing in my head. 

Enter in serious applause for Skating with the Stars TV program! :-)
I was probably one of the few nuts who gave it time of day.
 

Lord knows if it will even have a 2^ND season.
Hubby just used to shake his head and leave the room…………………
Exit the fantasy of skating with Prince Charming.

 

 

Last week sitting in the middle of a snow storm somewhere in the Mid-West, waiting for my flight home, new thoughts started off somewhere in my brain.
On the way to the airport, I had to stop and fill up the rental car with petrol (aka gas).
Thankfully I remembered to carry my gloves, because it was so bitterly cold, the temperatures just brought sheer pain to my hands in a matter of seconds.
As I was sitting in the airport trying to get some feeling back into my hands, I glanced over to the man who was a few feet away from me….reading a newspaper….
He flipped over the page, and there was this picture of a figure skater.

Light bulb went off in my head.
Wow, people are thinking of skating in this cold?!
I suppose though, it IS the season for that kinda thing isn’t it…..??
Cold = Ice = COLD!

And just like that……………..
The fantasy has died!
You would think, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist (nor a medical doctor apparently) to figure that out right?
But I just NEVER thought about it in that context….
These guys are constantly out on ICE.
Constantly surrounded by COLD.
I mean, even ice rinks are freakishly COLD…….OF COURSE because of the ICE.
I don’t even know why people go to them.

End of fantasy.

Yeah, I have my retarded moments.
And this is one MAJOR one. Hahahahaha……
Believe me, I always shock myself that I was trained to make life-changing decisions for people and perform surgery, yet the most simple and most basic ideas just seem to elude me, up until…………
Moments like this! :-)

Just never REALLY thought about it before you know………..

And so now I don’t feel horribly terrible that I cannot ice skate…..
I wouldn’t want to spend all that time in the cold anyway!
HA!

Public Service Announcement

FIRSTLY, I tell you, if the lady in front of me pouts her lips like that one more time…
I’m going to HAVE to smack the collagen out of her!

Why oh whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy do people do that?!
Who in the world even came up with the idea of injecting collagen into people’s lips?!
How and whyyyyyyyyyy were so many women convinced that looking like a blow fish is attractive??

Oh wait....apparently it's called a TROUT POUT!

This is not a rant.
This is a serious social issue!

So which louse of a human being came up with this idea and decided to bring more menace to society?
I'm still trying to find out.

I really and truly do not see the positive benefit of pumping one’s lips in a bid to somehow magically create a sexy-come-hither pout that will make all men go weak in the knees……….
Most of the women I see look horribly wrong…
It just looks out of place with them…
EVERYONE knows the lips are collagen filled…….because they look so terribly unnatural.
How are these women convinced this is a better option for them?

I can understand how other enhancements can be of benefit.............but this one?!

I understand that their self-esteem must be in the gutter levels to resort to such measures………
But surely!
Doesn’t sanity reign in at some point?
Don’t their supposed loved ones care even an iota for them and inform them how ridiculous they look?

We need an intervention!

SECONDLY, we need a new super food or whatever….
Because broccoli will just not do!

That’s it....
I said it.

No matter how much ‘they’ try to convince us that broccoli is the next best thing since sliced bread…..
I simply cannot buy it.
It looks weird…
It tastes even weirder…..
And you simply cannot do much with it.
I’ve never met a more stubborn vegetable than broccoli….
Despite trying it in different recipes…..different methods of cooking……the taste ALWAYS remains the same!

They need to stop growing it.
End of story.

At least we have a consensus!!

THIRDLY, an unrecognized hero walks this earth and has not been given due recognition.

WHO created the disposable flush-able toilet seat coverings????????????????????
I really want to know!
Because if there ever was a necessity for ANYTHING on this planet, THAT would be on top of every list!
That SHOULD be on top of every list.

I know whoever he/she is, is making bucket-fulls of money, and probably sitting pretty in some pent-house somewhere (or at least I hope so!), but they soooooo deserve it….

THAT is a true public service gem of an idea…….
You WILL remember THIS and understand why this piece of genius moves my world :-)
And anyone who has had to use a toilet/bathroom/loo/latrine/restroom/water-closet (what-ever you want to call it) in some nether regions of the world (or even some places right here), will HAVE to agree with me…..
 

Things we so desperately need, and take for granted.

Just think about it :-)

Suburban Barbie??: Kicking Myself............

Suburban Barbie??: Kicking Myself............: So remember this crazy moment when i decided to have a New Year's Resolution ??? Yeah me neither........ Unfortunately with putting thing...

Kicking Myself............

So remember this crazy moment when i decided to have a New Year's Resolution???
Yeah me neither........
Unfortunately with putting things in print, you cannot take it back.
Ask all the naysayer celebrities who would have loved to kick themselves in the foot after the fact......

One of the fundamental laws of medicine and research is, if it wasn't recorded, it didn't happen.

Clearly I'm terrible at taking my own advice.
Anyhow, so I had that resolution.......A few months ago.....
When i was clearly overcome by sheer insanity, or a moment of profound thought clarity.
I'm still trying to decide which it was.

So how the guarding my tongue part of things gone?
Has anyone noticed my sudden silence on all matters under the sun?
(Rhetorical question!)
I knew it was going to be hard.........but not THIS hard.
I'm older and wiser and what not, right?

I think I'm starting to accept that one of the ironies of life is that, when you decide something major, there will come your way 30 different situations out of the blue to challenge that very decision in all its forms.

I wrote a bunch of blogs in the past couple of months........

Ran wild actually with my thoughts.....
But boy! Weren't they dark.....and depressing!
I would read them later and think.....This is just perfect for some tragic stage play!
Not that I was depressed.....
Or that events were directly involving my life....
But I was bouncing off a lot of the energy that was surrounding me at the time from others.
So here now that I had suddenly decided to challenge myself with not talking ill, and working on controlling my speech, when there came a tsunami of WTF moments.......
It really is mind boggling! :-)
The challenge really was on.

So I kept my peace, bit my tongue.......And let the waves ride themselves out until they were tired.
Sunshine shall reign once again.
And I think to some measure, I'm surviving my challenge.

So now that 2012 is officially here...
How is your New Years Resolution going so far??? :-)

Things that make you go Hmmmm.........

So I had my hmmmmmmm moment....
And my body has finally won and I lose.
I am actually tired.
Like physically and mentally exhausted.
Unable-to-function-at-maddening-speeds kinda exhaustion.

Why would that be a surprise one would think?
LOL. To my mind it is.

Because I am such a go go GO person all the time!
Which is my downfall.
I need to learn how to relax.
Take a break.

I finally caved in because I realized that I'm doing much of nothing for the past few days.
With much amusement, I had to acknowledge that what I am feeling is merely fatigue!
Gasp.
Could it be?
How ridiculous.
You mean I'm human after all.
Sometimes reality checks are the best. :-)

I have had a super crazy 5 months. With no break.
My career at the moment is like  a Formula One race track.
Thoroughly and completely enjoy it....................However.

And no break because my social calendar has been as mad as my professional one.
I feel truly blessed to have wonderful friends and family filling my life................But.

Three months ago, I joked about this with a colleague of mine.
And we drew up a plan.
I would finally be able to bum and relax in October.
O.C.T.O.B.E.R.
This was 3 months ago remember.
A month after our strategist meeting, I had to readjust the plan and realize a break would come in November.
So I paced myself.
It was either that.........Or I clone myself.........Which I gave serious thought to at some point!
I can do this, I told myself.
It's just like a marathon........(Please note that I have NEVER ran a marathon, so I'm one to speak!)

Today I was looking at my calendar and mentally psyching myself up.
Marathon remember??
You can do this Barbie......
All with a click of the heels and smile on the face at all times.
Oh I'm smiling alright.....which is a good thing.
But I am merely laughing at myself.

Sometimes we all at some point think we are superhuman......
Or maybe it's just Perfect Melancholics and Type A Personalities.....
I tend to fall into both groups at some point.
Back to thinking we are super human..........When we clearly are not.
Sometimes the lines between fantasy and reality get blurred.....
And yet I pride myself in being a realist................Humph!

I am so fortunate to have friends who understand I need a breather, and don't take it personal when I fall off the radar.......
Or cancel my dates with them.
Or take forever to respond to emails, text messages, voice mails.
I also feel very blessed to have people who care enough to pop in and check if all is well, and I've not been flattened by a boulder in the midst of it all........
And then promptly let me carry on with my maddening life. :-)

 But I do recognise that I need time to slow down....

Times to soak up the sun and enjoy the air.
Times to do nothing but play with my toes, and eat a chocolate bar.
Time to remember to book a manicure, pedicure, facial and massage. :-)
Time to hold my husband's hand and cook his favourite dish.
Time to laugh at nothing and everything.

After all, Measured Time Is All We Truly Have.

Baby Baby OH Baby Once Again.....

So seems like everyone and their sister wants me to become preggers.
Real life comedy situations seem to present themselves to me for free :-)

A big bunch of my friends are not knowingly…..Or maybe knowingly…..Really trying to cheer me on to get knocked up.
Apparently I am not doing what should be the natural thing to do once you get married…..
Have babies!

The funny thing that I have noticed is….
The suggestions……questions…….gentle prodding…....are actually all coming from my friends, in an age group +/- 5 years from me.
There’s a certain age radius for sure.

On the other hand, every other woman that I’ve met who is at least a decade of two older than me, is telling me to take my time!
Enjoy life and my marriage before little ones come.
I hear that over and over from older women.
Wasn’t being older meant to be result in being wiser??

Who would you seek advice from then? :-)

Not that I’m ever bothered by people’s suggestions :-)
I always do tend to do things when I’m ready for them myself……..And the thing is, all my friends know this about me!
But they persist.
And I truly wonder why. :-)
Is it because the age-set/group that I’m in is feeling their biological clock ticking.
Is it a transference of maternal instincts??
As 2 of my friends have told me in the past one week, they are still at the stage of looking for the father of their future children, while I’ve already solved that puzzle….
So what am I waiting for??

Interesting question.
Interesting perspective.
Both women live in different cities from me, and have threatened that I should be ready with a baby bump the next time they see me!
Their well wishes are rather cute :-)…I don’t take that fact away.
And God willing they eventually get their wish….One day!

But I just wonder if we ever stop to think of why we do things?
Especially humongous life changing things.
Because everyone is doing them?
Because it’s the RIGHT time to do it?
Because it’s the expected thing to do at the certain time and/or situation?
Because it’s part of the overall blueprint of life?
A lot of the responses to those questions can be very relative to the individual.
Or are they really?

I truly love children.
I think they are an absolute joy.
And I’ve loved being an aunt :-)
Even though I was recently accused of not having maternal instincts! Ha! :-) (I told you life presents me with free comedy.)
But back to my questions above?
When do you decide is the right time for someone else?
Or if there is a right time at all?
Or if people want children at all?
Or if people CAN have children at all?

I ask these questions not in the least for my benefit.
As I said, I do things on my clock, schedule, timetable and mood. :-)
But I ask them thinking of all those women who are in the same social pressure situation that I am in and many have difference circumstances that no one talks about, or considers.

I think of women who may not have wanted the mother-role and got pushed into it because it was the‘expected’ thing to do.
Or for those women who languish in misery and feel like failures because they cannot have children, have fertility issues, have nightmare pregnancies……….
All in a bid to prove what??

Do we ever think of the subtle messages and pressure and suffering that we may be putting upon others not knowing their situation???
It may seem like great intention and good fun to do so, because for most people having children is a happy time, a continuous joy…….
But when have we all ever fitted in one box when it comes to anything?
Simple…..

N.E.V.E.R.

Next time, just take a minute to think about it, whether it’s the baby issue, or the ‘when are you two going to get married’ question, or whatever…..

Not everyone is as vocal as some of us…...

So just take a minute out to consider and find a tactful way to find out maybe what the person feels about it all…what their situation is….first, before undertaking declarations and pronunciations.

And as for me, you can continue bugging the lights out of me :-)
I like to do things with a bang….. :-) 

So it will be when you least expect it!

C'est Magnifique!

 Many moons ago when I was in high school (no numbers necessary), I took French classes.
Partly because it was a choice between French or Business studies, which I found an absolute bore….
And partly because I always envisioned that I would eventually live somewhere in Europe and so it would come in handy one day.

Europe didn’t happen clearly…well not the French speaking sector.
But I guess I never thought that I would somehow end up in French speaking Canada…..which might as well be in Europe! :-)

I’ve now had to travel to Montreal a couple of times for work, and by the time I leave, my head is swimming in French vocabulaire.

Montreal fascinates me……
More so because it literally is just an hour’s flight from home in Good Old America (insert southern accent here), but it really is literally a world away in so many ways.
Navigating the place has actually not been that terribly difficult.
I can manage addresses and directions and small talk, and reading things, until someone calls my bluff and goes into a whole conversation mode….and then my brain stops :-)
And only starts working once more if pushed into emergency mode, like when your taxi driver does not speak anything else and has no idea where he should be taking you.
Suddenly all the French in me comes out!

There’s plenty of people who do speak English however, but woe unto you if you decide to make that your lingua franca while there.
I had the misfortune of getting tongue-tied while trying to order my lunch the other day. For the life of me, I could not describe what I wanted to be included in my sandwich……

And so I did what I shouldn’t have….
I. Switched. Into. English.
 

The lady behind the counter……much older, tres francais madame, had a moment…..
Sharp intake of breathe
Pursed her lips....
And literally almost had a coronary!
The look of surprise, shock, anger, disgust, disappointment all flashed through her in sequence.
You could literally see it all.
Fascinating to watch.

I guess it didn't help that all I wanted to do, was burst into laughter.

It’s like time and everything in the lunch room just stood still.
Eventually she composed herself…..But she would not speak to me again.
She communicated to me in sign language! 

The thing is, I know she knew English because she was understanding me perfectly well!
The situation was so comical…..but not uncommon on the least......Straight out of a movie!

The first time I went to the province of Quebec, I went with one of my colleagues.
After we landed, it was the funniest thing to notice that everyone spoke in English to her at the airport, and then turned to me and spoke in French.
We were both confused.
Not wanting to run out of good graces, I didn’t object and replied appropriately, but wondered what was going on.
Once outside the airport, it all fell into place.
Women with headscarves everywhere in the city.
Women mainly from West and North Africa.
Women who were francophone.
So the natural assumption apparently was that I was either from North or West Africa, or Haiti.
I was one of them.

Er….Not!

The situation has become highly comical to me :-)
But for the most part, my English-speaking self is treated wayyyyyyyyy better than any American visiting there.
There is little love for Les Americaines.

I now have a Algerian cab driver, who doubles as a fitness trainer apparently, and is currently my self-appointed French teacher and practice partner.
Note……Self-appointed.
He speaks perfect English, but says I have great potential to speak perfect Francais and it is his duty (note, duty) to enable me to do so.
I don’t know whether to laugh, or just shake my head, or just go with the flow.
So far I’ve done the last option :-)
He’s a great cabbie. Picks all his calls, and picks you up on time every time.
I have to say, he is great at teaching too. 

Very patient and encouraging. Since he won’t allow me to speak in English, he gives me time to look up words in my dictionaire and say what I want to say.
Getting stuck in Montreal traffic has produced highly amusing moments!

But as my cab driver cum French teacher says, It is not MY fault that Kenya was colonized by the English, and that I had the MISFORTUNE of being born Anglophone!!!
O.K.A.Y.
And THAT my dear people, is the Quebec way! :-)