New Year's Resolution.....

As I mentioned before…
This month has been one of deep introspection.
Firstly because of my birthday happening, and second because it has been the month of Ramadhan.
A month of fasting, of charity, and hopefully increase in piety.

I usually use Ramadhan as my ‘new year’.
Probably because it’s the time that I usually self evaluate.
Each year I give myself a challenge.
To rid myself of a vice and acquire a virtue instead.

Years ago, my goal remained the same for many years.
To learn patience (with myself and others) and self control.
To curb my temper and learn to be more tolerant and compassionate.

Sometimes I was on point, other times I failed miserably.
Each year, I reaffirm those very principles and start a new cycle to master them.
But it’s an ongoing struggle.
It will always be.

However, with this Ramadhan having coming to a close, I feel that I have somewhat done better over the past couple of years with the above and I need to add on a new one on the list.
So here I go.
Exhale.
I am going to try and curb my tongue.
 

I had to pick a super hard one right?!
Oh well, a decade older, a decade wiser! :-)
So maybe I’m ready to try and tackle this one!

It’s so ironic that I was such an introvert as a child.
Aloof, my mother said I was.
I never really voiced my thoughts and opinions.
And now as an adult, I think it’s a challenge to get me to keep quiet!

Looking back I see the several points where all of that changed and how it happened.
Not that it has been a bad thing, I just think there needs to be a level of modification.

A balance point.

As I learnt self confidence, I learnt that it was okay to express myself. Even if my outlook was different from others.
Secondly, while going through medical school, I had to forcefully learn how to talk in front of others.
It was never a challenge to converse with patients.
It was a challenge to speak up in front of colleagues.
Doctors are a super arrogant bunch :-) We are. End of Story.
Ok well, maybe not all. But a good majority!
You have to be confident, and somewhat assertive, for anyone to really take you seriously.
I realized somewhere along the way, that I had not gained the respect of my professional peers, because I never spoke up, and hence people thought I didn’t know anything!
Once I did however start speaking up, it was a new recognition.
I liked it.

So I started talking.
And talking.
And I haven’t stopped!

So this year, my new year’s resolution is to modify my speech.
One of the sayings of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is, if you have nothing good to say, be silent.

THAT is going to be my challenge.
To modify my speech, and keep it positive and productive hopefully.
Not that I now become a door mat and won’t give a tongue lashing to someone who totally deserves it, but I do want to start taking a few seconds to put some measure of thought in my speech.

We live in a world and a time where there is a phenomenal pressure of freedom of speech ideology.
This is a good thing, and a bad thing.
And I’ve seen how people in guise of freedom of speech, have ended up saying the most inappropriate things….At the most inappropriate times….Or even just looked plain stupid.
But they don’t realize it, since they believe they have the freedom of speech.

Listening to other people…the amount of garbage that comes out of people’s mouths is just incredible.

I do not want to be a part of the group.
 

So this has led me to examine myself and undertake this attempt at getting rid of what I see as a vice.
If we want a solution, we have to be part of it.
If I want people to stop saying dumb hurtful or stupid things, I have to be the first one to stop saying dumb hurtful and stupid things myself.

Good manners, which includes good speech, was one of the hallmarks of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).
And so if I’m trying to be a better Muslim, I have to work towards embodying the excellence of character that SHOULD be the hallmark of every Muslim.
THAT is real Islam.
 

God willing I am successful of this new challenge I have given myself, because believe me, we don’t pay too much attention to ALL that we say, but if we really think about it, this is a hard one.
 

A little older, A little wiser :-)
And hopefully a little bit better at being a good human being.