Sooooo last week, we had a raccoon in our dumpster at work...
Typically what would happen is, we empty our individual trash cans out ourselves at the end of every week, and replace our bins with a new garbage liner bag.
What happened this time was, I didn't empty MY trash, because there was a raccoon out there....And I wasn't about to go deal with it...........
And I wasn't alone with that thought process!
But we happen to have at least two animal lovers in our office.
D.E.D.I.C.A.T.E.D.
And one of them found out about it...........Later.............
Much to her unhappiness, and disappointment in the rest of us.
Because apparently the raccoon may have died from heat stroke in the dumpster.....(!!!)......
I swear to God that thought would have NEVER even crossed my mind......EVER.......My life was at stake (in my head), and so it was a situation of the raccoon, or I.
That's my story and I'm sticking with it!
So the very lucky raccoon, had my sweet colleague come to its rescue.
In her distress to save the 'poor' fellow before the garbage man would come empty the dumpster, or that forces of nature may overwhelm the trapped creature.
She called animal rescue........Dead end.....
And then she called some other place (who's name I have never heard of), and they said they can set a trap, and charge her close to $200 dollars for the service.............Another Dead end.....
BUT, they did suggest to her that if she could find a plank or something, and provide an escape route for the animal, then that might be helpful....
So she did!......Find a plank...and propped it at an angle providing the raccoon access once more to the outside world.
ANDDDDDDDDDD........She threw in some food and drink for good measure, so that it could replenish itself before the great escape.
A Walt Disney Movie should be made out of this!
I may be friends with a very famous rich person very soon!...........Watch this space.
BUTTTTTTT...........
Guess who ELSE she called in her hour of need?
Her Dad.
I am always in awe of such father-daughter relationships.
I just marvel at them.
That right there, just blew me away.
What would I call my father for?
Probably an atomic bomb......And if he knew someone who could defuse it.
Like really.
This past weekend was Father's Day...
And to be honest, I really had nothing to say about it.
I don't think there ever was a year that I celebrated it.
Or at least out of own free will!
When I was younger, I yearned to be Daddy's Little Girl......Well, not really...not in those words.
But well, the sentiment of it.
For a while, until his death, my grandfather filled that slot.
The loving supportive male parent role.........And I didn't miss out on it.
But then later, I did.
And then I started resenting my father for not being what I wanted him to be.
I resented that I felt alone, and vulnerable, like he didn't exist, and yet he did....
I would look at my friends who did have great relationships with their fathers, and always wonder what that would feel like.
People romanticize their life partners.....................
I romanticized my ideal father.
The deep seated resentment..............
The daddy issues.........
Were hardly ever vocalized...
But were very well played out in choices I made for myself as I was growing up.
Self destructive choices.
Escapist choices.
Choices where I was seeking out love and security from the wrong locations.
I am very VERY fortunate, to have reached a point early in life where I managed to take a step back and find the courage to look at myself.................To look at the big picture.
I was also fortunate to accept myself and my father for the individuals we both are.
I accepted my role in my choices, and took responsibility for them.
And probably for the first time, I managed to look at my father as an individual.
Not the antithesis I had perhaps made him out to be.
He is who he is.
He himself, never had a father.................Never had a family........
He lost both his parents when he was very young.
Maybe he never really knew what was expected of him???
Maybe it's just his personality??
Even if I huffed and puffed and blew every house down.....
How would anything change?
It wouldn't.
So why was I punishing myself?
And perhaps, punishing him, for something that I nor he could control?
Maybe, I never even gave him a true chance?
It really does make me think...
They are able to converse about anything and everything.....
Important or just down right silly....
And be totally cool with each other......
And truly be like father and son.
I marvel that my husband has that with MY father!
It's weird.......but I like it.
It's like some part of me does have THAT relationship with him.
Clearly I'm living through my husband...
I admit that!
One of the sayings of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) is that, we as human beings, should always look at the less fortunate.
Not the ones who have more than us.
But the ones who have less.
So that we may gain some perspective.
And I suspect, a person who has maybe never met their father.
Or lost their father early in life.
May look at me, and say, at least you have 'A' father.
I have to admit.......once that concept came to me........that made me start thinking.
To add on to it all.
I wanted to be rid of the self destructive habits.
Because I don't want to be a disappointed bitter female, who has never truly lived life, and has never allowed herself to be truly happy, because I didn't want to ever admit there was a problem.
A problem that I would work on.
And fix.
And heal.
Always work on it.
Never stop working on it.
So five years ago.......I managed to reconcile with myself and move past my daddy issues...
This has freed me.
Allowed me to make better choices for myself.
Allowed me to enjoy a fulfilling marriage.
But I just moved past the issue.....
It still needs to be kept a working progress.
And maybe one day, God Willing, I can reach the point of resolving it.
Or at least reach a point where I'll be comfortable calling him to just chat.
Or ask for a mundane favour.......Not just an atomic bomb situation.
My sweet friend and colleague may not know how her raccoon fiasco may have impacted me.
But if she ever reads this.....
Thank you for reminding me that I still have a working progress in play.
