L.O.V.E.

 So the maternal instinct has finally kicked in…..
And I finally can say it out loud. :-)

But not to mad enough levels to want to subject my husband to an insatiable wife (I don't think he would mind one bit though!).
But mad enough to simply want to kidnap my nephew and run away with him somewhere…….
Forever.

My sister should be mightily worried with this piece of information.

The last 8 months have been a total and complete joy because of this one little individual.
This one little boy who has stolen my heart.

The day my sister went into labour...
I didn’t sleep.
I hardly did any work that day.
I didn’t even cook dinner.

I think I didn't even eat that entire day for that matter!
My phone was never so overworked….
Thank God for 21st century technology, because somehow being ‘present’ during that time, despite being thousands of miles away, was only made possible via today's technology…..

The moment he arrived, both my mother and I were like screaming lunatics.
My sleeping husband was of course woken up.
It was 6am Eastern Standard Time.

I remember a couple of years ago when the singer Beyonce was gushing when her sister had a baby.

And nobody was paying any mind to her utter joy at being an aunt.
Now, I totally understand.

Everyday that I wake up, the first that makes me smile in the morning is seeing his picture….
Or watching one of the multitude of videos I have of him…..courtesy of his very obliging mother….
Or if time allows, simply getting on Skye and watching him go about his day, which merely consists of sleeping, playing, eating, whatever…….It doesn't matter!

The last year couldn’t have ended in a more perfect way. 

I finally got to have him in my arms.
There was an instant connection.
He is a part of me so intimately, just as my sister is a huge part of me……
Words cannot explain it.
I was ready to go all Mama Bear on anyone and anything…..
Suddenly all those sentiments of being able to take a bullet for somebody…
Bruno Mars ready to stand in front of a train out of love….
Or simply the Twilight expression summed it all up……as corny as it sounds…
I imprinted.

Many people would wonder as to how close an Aunt-Nephew relationship can be...
But from my culture, it definitely has a special place.

Such that for him, I am not just an aunt.
I am like his older Mother.

As one of my friends asked me when he was born, if I would go all 'Western' and have him call my Auntie? Or would I stick to my East African roots and let him call me 'Mama Mkubwa', which translates as Big Mother.

I think you can pretty much figure out which one I picked. :-)

And if I feel this way…
I have no clue what my sister feels.
It must be THE most intimate connection two human beings can have.
Mother and Child.

I get it now.

Time to call MY Mommy!:-)

At All Times..................

For whatever reason it may be………(and I totally never mind at all)……people feel comfortable talking to me about their personal problems…
Life situations…
Ups and downs…
Hypothetical scenarios…
And their what-if moments in life.

And I say I don’t mind……………because I truly don’t.
Sometimes I think maybe it was the medical training…
Where you are made attuned to connect with people…

To try and help them…
To not only treat the specific disease entity……we were constantly reminded….
But to treat the person as a whole.

I suppose it did foster a listening talent.

My husband credits it to my ability to cut to the chase and just give the person an unbiased opinion of the situation at hand.
Once again, probably the fruits of medical school boot-camp training.
 

I’ve never really seen this as a true asset however.

It worked in the professional arena, but on the personal fore-front....

Another story altogether.

Most people in my opinion……….
Are not ready to hear what I have to say. 

Or cannot stand how direct I am in those moments……(I secretly believe so)
Do not truly want advice and rather just want someone to hear them out. 

Or despite having a discussion where they fervently agree with the pros regarding the situation, will still go ahead anyway and do exactly as they please…….

So it always surprised me when they would come back. 

For more discussion……….attempts at finding solutions.

And sometimes I do wonder…….
So what’s the point??
Because this person clearly does NOT want a solution.

Haven’t we all had a situation like that???
 

Or the ones who later give you the silent treatment…
Or avoid you altogether!

In the past, I used to get quite emotional about it all.
But I’ve learnt to just let go.
After all, whether they take my advice or not, it’s not my life and I’m not the one who has to live with the decision.
It does not impact me directly.

So I’ve learnt to disengage……thankfully.
I suppose it goes with that part they call growing up.

However, as human beings………..since we are the masters of ASSumption….
I think most times people later feel embarrassed at their decisions or actions…. 

And assume things would be awkward…
Because they didn’t do as you suggested… 

And perhaps feel that they would be judged on that.

And heck yes, they would be judged.

We all are.......constantly.
It’s normal to have an opinion based on the actions we have undertaken.
One cannot expect others not to have an opinion about them...come to a conclusion regarding their words and actions...or face no opposition at any point in regards to their choices...

And join the DON'T JUDGE ME brigade.... 

That is just plain unrealistic and juvenile.

It surprises and saddens me how people are willing to burn bridges...
And break relationships...
Because they will not let their ego go down a notch and admit they might have been wrong...

Or it was indeed a bad decision and hence a bad outcome....

We get so concerned with preserving this fault-less image......this perfect persona of ourselves....

That we do not realize how much it costs us in personal relationships.
Be they friendships....or family connections.

Sad...

And wasteful.

Wasteful of time, energy, emotion and brain space.

However, I think people can learn how to COMMUNICATE to those close to them and help them understand their choices, 

Their concerns, 

Fears, 

Reasons, 

Uncertainities. 

And how much the other persons support would be essential to it all.
 

I had a wonderful long conversation with someone close to me recently…..which made it all finally click…
At the end of which she said, “Whatever I choose, I want you to understand my choice, and I need you by my side to see it through whichever way the dice falls, regardless of whether you think I’m being totally stupid at this moment or not.”
 

Her words had a lot of power.

And I totally appreciated the honesty.

I LOVE dealing with ADULTS.

 

Which is the crux of it all, isn’t it?
Because everything I have just said means little if nothing at all, if we cannot be honest with ourselves first and those around us………
At all times.

The Ice Princess.............

I’ve always admired figure skating.

As a young child ice skating was in the same category as Disney World characters.
Since it was not available to me in the real tangible sense, the allure made it all the more intense.
What would it feel like to glide over ice on skates?
It looked so graceful….
So intricate…..
The dazzling sexy costumes the female skaters would wear……
The lifts…
The turns….
The precision.....
All those seemingly impossible maneuvers.

Fantasy upon fantasy built up in my head.

I used to WAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT for the figure skating championships every Olympics!
Did 4 years always have to take soooooooooo long to come?
It was also the one and only reason why I would ever venture to watch the Winter Olympics (which for some reason Canada seems to always be geared up for!)

I would imagine skating with my prince charming.
Totally corny right? :-)
 

But as human beings, we always want what we cannot have.
And since ice skating was something I couldn’t have as a child growing up in a tropical African country (a few decades ago), it just remained one of those magical things.

As I grew older, and as my phobia (irrational fear, I know, I know…….) for falling grew more intense…
My fantasy of ice skating kinda waned……...err NOT.
But I just KNEW it was one of those things I simply could not do.
Because…..
I was too scared to fall!
 

Remember I said irrational fear….
I know…
Le sigh.

 

I did try it once however.
I always say try something at least once……..
And I was one of those people who just cannot let go of the side railings.
As little kids barely out of their diapers were zooming all over the place on those slits they call skates, I was the desperado clutching at the side rails….
You know…..
The ones EVERY skating rink has!
What a total waste of time and money.

So since this became THE one thing that I know I cannot do, rather than mourn my ineptitude, the fantasy of it just kept on growing in my head. 

Enter in serious applause for Skating with the Stars TV program! :-)
I was probably one of the few nuts who gave it time of day.
 

Lord knows if it will even have a 2^ND season.
Hubby just used to shake his head and leave the room…………………
Exit the fantasy of skating with Prince Charming.

 

 

Last week sitting in the middle of a snow storm somewhere in the Mid-West, waiting for my flight home, new thoughts started off somewhere in my brain.
On the way to the airport, I had to stop and fill up the rental car with petrol (aka gas).
Thankfully I remembered to carry my gloves, because it was so bitterly cold, the temperatures just brought sheer pain to my hands in a matter of seconds.
As I was sitting in the airport trying to get some feeling back into my hands, I glanced over to the man who was a few feet away from me….reading a newspaper….
He flipped over the page, and there was this picture of a figure skater.

Light bulb went off in my head.
Wow, people are thinking of skating in this cold?!
I suppose though, it IS the season for that kinda thing isn’t it…..??
Cold = Ice = COLD!

And just like that……………..
The fantasy has died!
You would think, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist (nor a medical doctor apparently) to figure that out right?
But I just NEVER thought about it in that context….
These guys are constantly out on ICE.
Constantly surrounded by COLD.
I mean, even ice rinks are freakishly COLD…….OF COURSE because of the ICE.
I don’t even know why people go to them.

End of fantasy.

Yeah, I have my retarded moments.
And this is one MAJOR one. Hahahahaha……
Believe me, I always shock myself that I was trained to make life-changing decisions for people and perform surgery, yet the most simple and most basic ideas just seem to elude me, up until…………
Moments like this! :-)

Just never REALLY thought about it before you know………..

And so now I don’t feel horribly terrible that I cannot ice skate…..
I wouldn’t want to spend all that time in the cold anyway!
HA!

Public Service Announcement

FIRSTLY, I tell you, if the lady in front of me pouts her lips like that one more time…
I’m going to HAVE to smack the collagen out of her!

Why oh whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy do people do that?!
Who in the world even came up with the idea of injecting collagen into people’s lips?!
How and whyyyyyyyyyy were so many women convinced that looking like a blow fish is attractive??

Oh wait....apparently it's called a TROUT POUT!

This is not a rant.
This is a serious social issue!

So which louse of a human being came up with this idea and decided to bring more menace to society?
I'm still trying to find out.

I really and truly do not see the positive benefit of pumping one’s lips in a bid to somehow magically create a sexy-come-hither pout that will make all men go weak in the knees……….
Most of the women I see look horribly wrong…
It just looks out of place with them…
EVERYONE knows the lips are collagen filled…….because they look so terribly unnatural.
How are these women convinced this is a better option for them?

I can understand how other enhancements can be of benefit.............but this one?!

I understand that their self-esteem must be in the gutter levels to resort to such measures………
But surely!
Doesn’t sanity reign in at some point?
Don’t their supposed loved ones care even an iota for them and inform them how ridiculous they look?

We need an intervention!

SECONDLY, we need a new super food or whatever….
Because broccoli will just not do!

That’s it....
I said it.

No matter how much ‘they’ try to convince us that broccoli is the next best thing since sliced bread…..
I simply cannot buy it.
It looks weird…
It tastes even weirder…..
And you simply cannot do much with it.
I’ve never met a more stubborn vegetable than broccoli….
Despite trying it in different recipes…..different methods of cooking……the taste ALWAYS remains the same!

They need to stop growing it.
End of story.

At least we have a consensus!!

THIRDLY, an unrecognized hero walks this earth and has not been given due recognition.

WHO created the disposable flush-able toilet seat coverings????????????????????
I really want to know!
Because if there ever was a necessity for ANYTHING on this planet, THAT would be on top of every list!
That SHOULD be on top of every list.

I know whoever he/she is, is making bucket-fulls of money, and probably sitting pretty in some pent-house somewhere (or at least I hope so!), but they soooooo deserve it….

THAT is a true public service gem of an idea…….
You WILL remember THIS and understand why this piece of genius moves my world :-)
And anyone who has had to use a toilet/bathroom/loo/latrine/restroom/water-closet (what-ever you want to call it) in some nether regions of the world (or even some places right here), will HAVE to agree with me…..
 

Things we so desperately need, and take for granted.

Just think about it :-)

Suburban Barbie??: Kicking Myself............

Suburban Barbie??: Kicking Myself............: So remember this crazy moment when i decided to have a New Year's Resolution ??? Yeah me neither........ Unfortunately with putting thing...

Kicking Myself............

So remember this crazy moment when i decided to have a New Year's Resolution???
Yeah me neither........
Unfortunately with putting things in print, you cannot take it back.
Ask all the naysayer celebrities who would have loved to kick themselves in the foot after the fact......

One of the fundamental laws of medicine and research is, if it wasn't recorded, it didn't happen.

Clearly I'm terrible at taking my own advice.
Anyhow, so I had that resolution.......A few months ago.....
When i was clearly overcome by sheer insanity, or a moment of profound thought clarity.
I'm still trying to decide which it was.

So how the guarding my tongue part of things gone?
Has anyone noticed my sudden silence on all matters under the sun?
(Rhetorical question!)
I knew it was going to be hard.........but not THIS hard.
I'm older and wiser and what not, right?

I think I'm starting to accept that one of the ironies of life is that, when you decide something major, there will come your way 30 different situations out of the blue to challenge that very decision in all its forms.

I wrote a bunch of blogs in the past couple of months........

Ran wild actually with my thoughts.....
But boy! Weren't they dark.....and depressing!
I would read them later and think.....This is just perfect for some tragic stage play!
Not that I was depressed.....
Or that events were directly involving my life....
But I was bouncing off a lot of the energy that was surrounding me at the time from others.
So here now that I had suddenly decided to challenge myself with not talking ill, and working on controlling my speech, when there came a tsunami of WTF moments.......
It really is mind boggling! :-)
The challenge really was on.

So I kept my peace, bit my tongue.......And let the waves ride themselves out until they were tired.
Sunshine shall reign once again.
And I think to some measure, I'm surviving my challenge.

So now that 2012 is officially here...
How is your New Years Resolution going so far??? :-)