Of All Things........Bathroom!

So I've been invited over for a final girls' night out at a friends house tonight.
And ironically, a thought that never fails to enter my head is, Don't forget to go to the bathroom before you leave home!
And I'm not saying this to a child like a parent would....I'm saying this to..myself.
It's not even a conscious active thought anymore, just somewhere in the recesses of my brain.

You see, i have this thing with bathrooms.
And over the years I've tried to psychoanalyze it....and I've come to the conclusion, it's all my parents' fault!
Aha, blame the parents, easy right?
But actually, I'm serious....See, both my parents have OCD...that's obsessive compulsive disorder for those not in the know. And both mum and dad are neat freaks....Their bathroom was just a no-no go zone! If you used it, you had to leave it JUST AS YOU FOUND IT!!!......And I'm not even kidding about that. Lol.
So, us, their poor children, having both forces of nurture and nature combined.........Results, in all my issues Bathroom!

We must have driven my mother crazy, because as kids, we would never....and i repeat, Never, use a bathroom outside home unless we really couldn't help it. It was that bad.
If we couldn't hold it, we had to go home. LOL.
A few scary experiences is what led us to the above situation.
The home situation was that of nice clean bathrooms. And we never had grandparents in some village somewhere, to expose us to a different way of things. Our grandparents were right there in the city with us, and had nice clean bathrooms too.
So having to visit friends or other relatives outside the city, or in areas of the city less desirable.........Ummmmmm.......there was going to be a problem.

Let's start with the relatives within the city, but who did not have a constant supply of water. You could smell the bathroom, 5 miles away.
So that option could be struck off the list right away.

Then the other relatives who had not yet had the opportunity to embrace technology....whose houses were ancient beyond written history.......I remember the first time i went to such a bathroom.....there was no bathroom/toilet.....there was a hole in the ground.
Now picture little miss perfect barbie, with my horrified look, asking, "what is that?!"
THAT was not happening!

Going out of the city was even more of a bathroom adventure.
The bathrooms were not even located in the houses!
"Mum, where have you brought us!?"
Confusion and horror is all that would keep streaming through the brain.:-)

Let's not even talk about the train journeys we had to take from Nairobi down to the Kenyan Coast......the toilets on board, are more of the, hole in the tracks affair!

So, my life routine was always, use toilet before leaving home, use toilet after getting back home.
Don't drink too much fluids when out, and ONLY use bathroom IF it is a dire emergency.
And even that would mean spending the first 5 minutes or so, trying to wipe everything down, then laying tissue paper down all over the seat, before i get to work. hahahaha.......
And some of you can't deny you have done the above either!.....I always have at least 2 packets of tissue in my handbag for all the above activities.
That's worked perfectly well for 20+ years now, with none the wiser to my bathroom phobia.

I'd even come to sort of relax about it all, easing up a bit with all the anxiety attached to using bathrooms that were not in whichever home i was living in. UNTIL i came to the desert. And alllllllllll those childhood nightmares were re-lived all over again.
I don't know what it is about people in this part of the world and their lack of bathroom etiquette. I really just don't get it. Not like they don't have the facilities.
Baffles the hubby everyday!
The magic tricks and action stunts people pull while trying to use the toilet, leave a lot to the imagination! I think those who do not know that toilet can be sat on nowadays, still want to squat on top of the seats..............try aiming right from that position and see the results!
It's just a complete and utter mess, smells horrible, wet floors, and all sorts of other things everywhere. Gives me the shivers...literally.
You do not want to use a public bathroom here!
Recipe for a complete and utter heart stopping nightmare for me.

I think this is why i secretly have always wanted to be Japanese.
Aren't they just so clean!

Ironically, next door, in UAE, most bathrooms are always clean!

After i got married, one of the very first things i did was set up the bathroom right.....In all my unbound joy, i went and bought new towels and toilet accessories. Got to have my pot-pourri and my candles, plus my lovely looking printed toilet paper.....:-) This and that, and more!
The hubby took one look and said, "Stop feminizing my house!"

I feminized his house:-)