I think one of the hardest things to grasp and accept for many people is that things will never be black and white….
As much as we’d like them to me.
But there are SOME things that can be within our control and remain in that black/white zone we so crave.
As much as we’d like them to me.
But there are SOME things that can be within our control and remain in that black/white zone we so crave.
I think it’s no secret that human beings are social creatures.
Some more than others…..
Some more than others…..
My longest and dearest friend has been a part of my life for 16 years now.
16 years.
This is someone who has literally witnessed my life….
Through teenage-hood to adulthood.
From girl to woman….
From school days to career….
From living a few streets away to continents apart…..
From disappointing boyfriends to wonderful husband….
From sorrow to joy…..
This is someone who has literally witnessed my life….
Through teenage-hood to adulthood.
From girl to woman….
From school days to career….
From living a few streets away to continents apart…..
From disappointing boyfriends to wonderful husband….
From sorrow to joy…..
Regardless of where we are physically in this world…
Or not having a proper verbal conversation for weeks on end…
We are still connected.
Or not having a proper verbal conversation for weeks on end…
We are still connected.
It’s like time always just goes on pause…….And goes right on unpause the very next time we talk, or meet, or chat, or email….
I always marvel at our friendship.
What a blessing.
And others with whom…….It’s so easy to just pick up where you left off 5 years ago!
The ones who the connection always remains…
The ones who the connection always remains…
And then the ones who were there day and night for a hot minute…..
But a hot minute only.
What makes the difference?
There are always these sayings that some people are in your life for just a season and others for a lifetime.
But I have always wondered why?
And I’m not talking about acquiaintances here.
There are always these sayings that some people are in your life for just a season and others for a lifetime.
But I have always wondered why?
And I’m not talking about acquiaintances here.
I mean, real friendships…
Where you shared things with this person and totally connected…
Where they appeared to actually care for you...
And then they just walk away….
Like it all meant nothing.
And then they just walk away….
Like it all meant nothing.
Or is it that they just don’t bother to put in the effort to sustain the friendship….
But then that’s just it isn’t it?
Don’t bother to put in the effort.
Don’t bother to put in the effort.
With every relationship……..
Be it friendship…..
Marriage…..
Even relatives and family members……
There has to be that COMMITMENT to sustain the relationship.
There has to be that COMMITMENT to sustain the relationship.
We have no guarantees that a friendship will last decades….
Or that a marriage will last a lifetime….
Or that family members will always be present to love and support you through things…..
We have no guarantees about ANYTHING really….
Other than our own deaths.
Or that a marriage will last a lifetime….
Or that family members will always be present to love and support you through things…..
We have no guarantees about ANYTHING really….
Other than our own deaths.
Eerything else is just grey.
However what IS black and white is the presence or absence of commitment towards a friendship or any relationship for that matter.
How do I truly say that this individual has been a good friend….?
Because they have always been there….
Through the good the bad the ugly….
They have been there…
And why were they there?
Simple………….
How do I truly say that this individual has been a good friend….?
Because they have always been there….
Through the good the bad the ugly….
They have been there…
And why were they there?
Simple………….
They made a commitment to honor the friendship.
Once that commitment is lacking………….If it was there at all in the first place…
Anything else is truly just doomed.
Because at the first sign of trouble or dissention…
People will take off and you will be alone.
And then wonder why.
Because at the first sign of trouble or dissention…
People will take off and you will be alone.
And then wonder why.
To be honest…
I’d rather have 2-3 people with the commitment to be a true friend….
As opposed to a gang of flaky people masquerading as friends only for the good times.
As opposed to a gang of flaky people masquerading as friends only for the good times.
makes you think about where you fall, in ALL your relationships.
ReplyDeletebut the commitment is the most important and unfortunately, in a world choke full of options we more often than not choose to exercise our options.
look at the spiralling divorce rate and single parenthood figures lends credence to the "i dont have to make so much of an effort" brigade.
Sad really when you think about all the amazing connections you've made in life and how they just peter out like they never meant anything.
WRITE THE BOOK ALREADY
it DOES make you think....
ReplyDeletekind of like that saying......don't make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.
when i first read that, i thought wow....that's deep....like truly..
how many times do we actually stop to think in those terms?
also, another profound statement i heard many years ago that made me really stop was someone telling me we live in a world satisfied with mediocrity.
how true!
it's kinda really sad that people have such an apathy for relationships, friendships, connections....you name it....
we want the 'fantastic' results, but never want to put the work and effort into it.
I've never wanted to live with regrets....so i feel my word should reflect my thoughts, my actions...my intentions....and all of those have to be sincere, otherwise i can never truly say i am a person of integrity.
i have to see something through....whether good or bad...till the end.
it's such a shame you cannot rely on others to stick things through.
unfortunately i think it's a true reflection of the persons character and it leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
thanks for reading and your comments:-)
**working out on where to start the book!**