To finally know...........

So today I'm a bit mellowed out.....probably because I'm nursing this terrible cold, and feel half dead....lol.

I had this full day planned out but had to cut half of it short thanks to this bug.
All I had to do was call the Other Half to pick me up from work, and voila he showed up like a genie out of a lamp. I was so grateful. I was really feeling terrible.

I've been musing a lot about different women I meet from time to time....And their never ending search for Mr. Right...And the now all too common stories of There-Are-No-Good-Men-Out-There-Anymore variety....
I come across a lot of unhappy bitter women, who probably don't even realize how unpleasant they are to others...Or maybe they want to make you feel as unpleasant as they feel. After all, misery does love company. Who knows what's going through their neuronal connections up there....
Some people say, that if you've never witnessed a good healthy relationship, then you wouldn't know how to be in one, and how to foster one...I think that's true to a certain extent....And then I think, we all have the same basic wants and needs as human beings....To feel loved and appreciated, and treasured by others around us, in whatever capacity....and we navigate through life trying to figure ourselves out, as well as how to achieve all those things our hearts yearn.

There was a time in my life I didn't think that love was real.....you know, like REALLY real.....Or that I was destined to be blessed with it....I thought perhaps I was just one of those people who wasn't lucky enough to be in that happy bubble that I envisioned people were in.
Of course I had to learn to love myself first, and deem myself worthy of love, so as to be able to be truly open to another human being and let them into that space.........something I think many people are afraid of doing and hence deny themselves the experience.......and then end up in the male-bashing band.

And then of course there's always good old plain Hollywood....that makes us believe love and romance are one and the same thing, and that's the only facet we should view it in....And then when the romance fades, people mistakenly thing the love has also faded......

Am I an expert in this? Hell no...but I've had my fair share of mistakes, and thankfully took a step back to learn from them...I wanted to know what made happy couples tick, and so I had to be honest with myself about my own shortcomings and own up to bad choices I made..........I had to take responsibility......

Of course we all want to feel the magic :-) And it's absolutely wonderful to feel the magic. To be swept off our feet....
I still remember when my husband and I were courting.......and I couldn't even remember what I said throughout our first dinner together, or what the food even tasted like..............but I do remember staring into his eyes.........
I never thought this corny stuff was real....until I was right in the middle of it :-)
And I remember my heart racing, and my brain just absolutely refusing to work, and despite written directions, I still got lost in Covent Garden in Central London (somewhere I had been numerous times before) trying to find the restaurant with the perfect french breakfast so that I could share that with him.......I'm so glad he didn't think I was a bumbling idiot that day....
And I remember that total feeling of contentment when we prayed together.....
And I remember my heart aching at Heathrow Airport when he had to leave, such that I delayed him so much, he missed his flight out!

That magic does exist.................maybe not in the uber cinematographic style of Hollywood.....but I'm pretty sure everyone has their own magic moments that just make them smile and lights up their hearts............
Hence I don't understand the people who trash the idea of marriage....
Or trash men, and then yet in the same breathe would want to be with someone who they can share their life with.........
Or people who want to be with someone, say they are looking for a partner, but then again exude such negativism within themselves outward to the world, that they push away the chance of letting all that come into play...........They don't give themselves a real chance for love..........And then conclude it's not possible.......
Take responsibility.

Secret - by Seal (Please click on the link to listen to the song)

The nature of magic moments changes too over time.........People think they diminish, but they actually become deeper, richer and more meaningful.....And you learn to look at things through a different kaleidoscope...
To see a new vision, aside that from which we are all taught by romance novels and mass media....
To appreciate.....
So when my husband rushes over to pick me from work because I am unwell....
And tucks me into bed....
And gets me my medication...
And does the dishes....
And makes sure dinner is served....
And checks up on me ever so often to see if I am alright....
I am humbled by the power of the Almighty...because He has shown me, by knowing, loving and respecting your Lord, how great his Bounty and Mercy can be.....
And I am humbled to finally know Love.