A Bite here.....A Bite there.....

Anyone who knows me….knows how much I LOVVVE food!

That’s never been a secret…
But it sure did kill my dreams of being a runway model….!
Ahhh well, maybe in another lifetime 

In fact my hubby attests that when I’m having a meal that I am thoroughly enjoying, it’s totally pointless to try and have a conversation with me.
Apparently my sense of hearing gets lost, as I indulge in the raptures of foodie joys.
True story!

Since I’ve been travelling through the United States so frequently, one my greatest pleasures has been seeing new places, new people, and of course enjoying many culinary delights.
So it’s just totally mad that I have not done a foodie blog yet!

I decided that I’m going to start one now….A running one that will hopefully get updated ever so often.
Many times people ask me what type of food I like eating……My usual reply is, Anything Yummy! :-)

So I've set out to write this, as it's the last hour of my fasting day, on the last day of fasting! I sure know how to torture myself.
Here are a few yummy things that my expanding waist-line has been testament to.:-)

1. The very verrrry best steak that I have ever eaten (and I’ve had my fair share), has been in downtown Raleigh, North Carolina.
It was so unbelievably good, I literally wanted to weep in joy….weep I say.
I thought I had died and gone to heaven.
Never had a piece of cow tasted sooooo good!
This is an absolute MUST-HAVE if ever in the Raleigh area.

A second close is a fillet Mignon I had while in Phoenix, Arizona.
It had a totally different southwestern twist to it…..but it’s definitely something I would re-order in a flash!

2. The yummiest crème brulee ever has been in unassuming Troy, Michigan!

    Who knew! In Michigan.....
I needed a truck to haul me away back to the parking garage, because I was so stuffed and so high on happiness, I could barely coordinate my limbs!

Other than the dessert, I also had a not-your-ordinary Mac ‘n’ Cheese at the same restaurant, and oh boy, It was not ordinary indeed! 

    I'm not a fan of Mac n Cheese…I just don’t think it’s a ‘dish’ (if you can really call it that!) with any thought process to it and so I don’t really respect it….
So this was a huge turning point in my life J I have tried Mac n Cheese at different places.
Troy has it done the best!

3. This one really surprised me.
But I had a really fantastic fish tikka in Ocala, Florida.
I had no high hopes of sampling a great meal in what almost seemed like the middle of nowhere, but there you have it.
Indians are everywhere, and apparently the ones in this little city in Florida take their food very seriously!
Y.U.M.M.Y!

4. Not many people know this, but I am such a pizza lover.
I could literally eat it every day and be happy forever.
So this point has to be split between two totally different pizza styles, but both equally worth of mention.
 

    

    The classic Italian pizza….
New Haven, Connecticut….
Its reputation precedes it, and for darn good reason!
I think anyone who ever praises pizza from elsewhere (and I hint at the new York pizza lovers here)….has never had pizza from New Haven.
Hubby and I weren’t even talking the entire meal. Our mouths were much better occupied!

And then comes the American version, stuffed pizza, which HANDS DOWN is a Chicago forte!
Here’s a little hint, the Mr. and I had a SMALL pizza………
We were unable to finish it!
But it was so delish! I was actually so mad at getting full on one slice!

5. Another unassuming place has been West Lafayette in Indiana.
I have had two really reallllly good treats here.
First, for the first time in my life, I ate fried pickles!
Yup…..you read it right!

 

    To non-Americans, this will just sound weird………….Heck, to many Americans this will sound weird.
But I did it, as a dare, and there was no turning back. The whole plate was mine by my own decree!
It’s one of those things where, you just have to taste it, to understand.
 

    Second thing I have totally loved there, is a chicken and veggie risotto.
I love Italian food, and have been to countless Italian restaurants.
This risotto is goooooooooooooooooood!
Yet another dish where I was mad that I got full even before I was halfway through my plate!

6. Anyone who has ever been right next to me when I’m having a dessert I like, knows that I have a sweet tooth :-)
So to cap off the list today, I have to mention something from home sweet home, that I have not tasted elsewhere as good.
The Candy Apple! :-)
The first time I heard of it, like with many other things (I don’t know why I don’t just quit it!), it just sounded highly skeptical.

     I didn't even bother to Google it!
But then later, I finished the first one, and IMMEDIATELY bought another one! :-)
 

     It’s a cooked apple, covered in caramel most times, and array of different toppings/coatings (for some reason I love the one with peanuts). In the US, there’s always a bazillion choices for everything. Choose whichever strikes your fancy.
Now that’s a way to get ANYONE to eat fruit regularly! :-)

New Beginnings.........

The past month has been one of much thought for me…..
Two major episodes collided.
One, was my birthday, and the other was the month of fasting, Ramadhan.

This is my birthday post.
Huge birthday this was for me.
A new decade.
And since then, I’ve had people ask me what it’s meant to me…….
If I’ve felt different?
Of what significance it’s been?

It’s taken me almost a month to figure that out.
Do I feel different?
No.
Do I know I am different as result of growing older?
Most definitely.

I’ve been looking back at the past decade and spent much time introspecting on it.
The glorious 20’s…………gone.
And to be quite honest….I am mighty relieved!

The actual physical birth of my alter ego, Suburban Barbie, was born in this decade.
And boy hasn’t she evolved! :-)
That has been one of my crowning glories though.
SB has been a positive force.
She’s the charmer.
The eloquent one who knows how to say the right things.
The planner.
The go-getter.
The one who believes all things are possible.
The compassionate one.
The confident part of me.
The one who has balls.

Suburban Barbie is also the part of me that I thought I could never be.
That might sounds strange, but having severe lack of self esteem when I was younger, I never believed I had all those positive traits.
Or that I could accomplish whatever I set my mind to do.
I had to create SB….separate from myself……to play her….
So that I could know that I am her.

A bit of experimental cognitive behavioral therapy on myself :-) Or just plain old psychological voodoo…
You decide.

Looking back….
The first half of the decade was spent royally screwing up, as I was discovering myself.
I remember so clearly at 21, how I felt I had it all figured out.
And now at 30, I know I have NOTHING figured out…..And that’s okay.
Of course I didn’t know that I had to discover myself, and figure out things. I already thought I had it all in the bag.
Just amazing at the lack of clarity at that age….Of the tunnel vision I had.
How catastrophic that turned out to be for me.
And many others now...that I watch everyday.
Caught in the webs of their own making at a young age.

The second half of the decade, after accepting that I have been living in utter misery and a façade of a so-called happy life, was spent trying to figure out, where did I go wrong?
I believe I am quite fortunate to have had that turning point while still in my 20’s….
For many, it doesn’t happen till much later.
But perhaps all the travesty I had prevailed brought me to that point much sooner than most.

 

I think the first step at that point was acceptance.
Acceptance that I had screwed up.
Acceptance that I did not like the person I was and that I had to change.
Acceptance that change is possible.
Acceptance that I had NOT FIGURED IT ALL OUT.
Acceptance that if I wanted different results in life, I was going to have to BE and DO different.
Acceptance that it all started with me, and no one else was to blame for MY CHOICES.

It was the hardest thing to swallow my pride and face myself.
And that was my quarter life crisis….As I called it then.
In reality, It was my greatest turning point to date.
And I hope I always look back upon that time and stick true to the promises I made to myself then.

So you can see why I’m mighty relieved the 20’s are over.
 

I feel like I survived a storm while sitting in a teacup….and that I have just landed on safe beach somewhere.
That is what turning 30 has meant to me.
My mother always said that a woman always looks her best at 30, so I suppose that i have lots to look forward to now.
When I think about her statement, I realize, she didn't mean that only in the physical sense.
After the trials and tribulations of adolescence and young adulthood, you finally reach the point where you know yourself as a person. 

Where people cannot shake you and peer pressure becomes a thing of the past 

(well, optimistically, for most!)......

When you have the confidence and self assurance to be you.

And that state of mind shines through, and is a very attractive quality. 

If harnessed, that's when women become power houses.
 

So now, welcome to the decade of FABULOSITY! :-)

Despair..............

Has it been over a month already?
How did we get to August?!

I've now spent most of the year in various cities, and various hotel rooms, such that it's become an easy rhythm...
I don't even notice the time pass anymore.
So it always kinda jolts me back to reality when I have to consciously think of how much time has lapsed.

But I did have to notice the dates this month, since it happens to be the month of fasting...
The month of Ramadhan.

A few days ago marked exactly one year since I came to the New World.
How time flies.
How life changes.
We truly are creatures of change us human beings.....Even if we don't know it, or even like it.

This Ramadhan is particularly important for me for a variety of reasons....
It truly marks the very first Ramadhan that my hubby and I are observing together....
Like truly truly!
Event-free....
Drama-free.......

In 2009, I had to go back to the UK to finish up my Masters Degree.
That meant a physical separation from my other half.
So it wasn't really our first Ramadhan together.

Last year this time round, I remember how I felt.
I was in a new place....
Far away from home.
I didn't know anybody....Other than my husband.
It was hot....beyond what I had anticipated....And everyone knows I don't handle the heat well!
I was not in my own home, and did not have a home to call my own........yet.
The place we were in was not particularly welcome of us as it turned out.
To say that our stress levels were through the roof...........Would be an underestimate.

Not to mention, I think I was still slightly fractured mentally and emotionally from my time in the Middle East.

But I couldn't let it show through.
I couldn't crack......Outwardly.
I had to put a smile on everyday, and just get on with it.
Because that's all I know how to do things.

So we started out last Ramadhan.....
Uncertain of what we were going to eat for Iftar (breaking of the fast) each day....We were in someone else's home, who didn't take that factor into consideration....Or seem bothered about it for that matter.
We were house hunting.
We were job hunting.
I remember every morning walking to catch the bus.....In the heat....Dripping in sweat by the time we got there.
I don't know how we managed to work through that time...
But we did.
All that mattered was that we were together.
Almighty God is surely Most Merciful.

One of my favourite Islamic scholars, Shaykh Hamza Yusuf, mentions several times in many of his lectures...
That Muslims do not despair.
If we truly believe in God, we do not despair.
I think that was my lesson to learn from 2009 really.
Do not despair.

Le sigh............

How many of us can say that we are on our way to mastering that?

It didn't take long for us to find our own place to move to really...
For us to start making our home.
For the cars and jobs to come.
For the shopping sprees and my ever-expanding shoe collection to take center stage.
For me to adapt to an American lifestyle.
For life to get a routine.

So Monday morning, when my hubby and I woke up to have our Suhoor....our pre-dawn meal....as we prepared to start off the month of Ramadhan, all I could do was smile like a child and give a big thanks to up above.
I just felt calm.....And happy....And at peace.
Slightly elated actually!
I got to make what my grandmother made for us every morning for Suhoor.......Paratha (Indian flat bread), yummy spicy fried eggs, and of course masala chai.....

I finally got to share a part of my tradition....

A part of me....

In my own home...

With my husband:-)
It wouldn't mean much to someone else, but it was a truly bitter sweet moment for me.
And all I could think about was one of my favourite verses from the Qur'an....
Truly after hardship, there comes ease.:-)

To all my brothers and sisters out there in faith, have a wonderful and blessed Ramadhan.:-)

DADDY ISSUES.....

Sooooo last week, we had a raccoon in our dumpster at work...
Typically what would happen is, we empty our individual trash cans out ourselves at the end of every week, and replace our bins with a new garbage liner bag.
What happened this time was, I didn't empty MY trash, because there was a raccoon out there....And I wasn't about to go deal with it...........
And I wasn't alone with that thought process!
But we happen to have at least two animal lovers in our office.
D.E.D.I.C.A.T.E.D.
And one of them found out about it...........Later.............
Much to her unhappiness, and disappointment in the rest of us.
Because apparently the raccoon may have died from heat stroke in the dumpster.....(!!!)......
I swear to God that thought would have NEVER even crossed my mind......EVER.......My life was at stake (in my head), and so it was a situation of the raccoon, or I.
That's my story and I'm sticking with it!

So the very lucky raccoon, had my sweet colleague come to its rescue.
In her distress to save the 'poor' fellow before the garbage man would come empty the dumpster, or that forces of nature may overwhelm the trapped creature.
She called animal rescue........Dead end.....
And then she called some other place (who's name I have never heard of), and they said they can set a trap, and charge her close to $200 dollars for the service.............Another Dead end.....
BUT, they did suggest to her that if she could find a plank or something, and provide an escape route for the animal, then that might be helpful....
So she did!......Find a plank...and propped it at an angle providing the raccoon access once more to the outside world.
ANDDDDDDDDDD........She threw in some food and drink for good measure, so that it could replenish itself before the great escape.
A Walt Disney Movie should be made out of this!

I may be friends with a very famous rich person  very soon!...........Watch this space.


BUTTTTTTT...........
Guess who ELSE she called in her hour of need?
Her Dad.

Who was understanding, comforting, and cheering her on throughout the entire thing.


I am always in awe of such father-daughter relationships.
I just marvel at them.
That right there, just blew me away.
What would I call my father for?
Probably an atomic bomb......And if he knew someone who could defuse it.
Like really.


This past weekend was Father's Day...
And to be honest, I really had nothing to say about it.
I don't think there ever was a year that I celebrated it.
Or at least out of own free will!


When I was younger, I yearned to be Daddy's Little Girl......Well, not really...not in those words.
But well, the sentiment of it.
For a while, until his death, my grandfather filled that slot.
The loving supportive male parent role.........And I didn't miss out on it.
But then later, I did.
And then I started resenting my father for not being what I wanted him to be.
I resented that I felt alone, and vulnerable, like he didn't exist, and yet he did....
I would look at my friends who did have great relationships with their fathers, and always wonder what that would feel like.
People romanticize their life partners.....................
I romanticized my ideal father.

The deep seated resentment..............
The daddy issues.........
Were hardly ever vocalized...
But were very well played out in choices I made for myself as I was growing up.
Self destructive choices.
Escapist choices.
Choices where I was seeking out love and security from the wrong locations.


I am very VERY fortunate, to have reached a point early in life where I managed to take a step back and find the courage to look at myself.................To look at the big picture.
I was also fortunate to accept myself and my father for the individuals we both are.
I accepted my role in my choices, and took responsibility for them.
And probably for the first time, I managed to look at my father as an individual.
Not the antithesis I had perhaps made him out to be.
He is who he is.
He himself, never had a father.................Never had a family........
He lost both his parents when he was very young.
Maybe he never really knew what was expected of him???
Maybe it's just his personality??
Even if I huffed and puffed and blew every house down.....
How would anything change?
It wouldn't.
So why was I punishing myself?
And perhaps, punishing him, for something that I nor he could control?
Maybe, I never even gave him a true chance? 

I also marvel at the relationship my father has with my husband.
It really does make me think...
They are able to converse about anything and everything..... 
Important or just down right silly....
And be totally cool with each other......
And truly be like father and son.
I marvel that my husband has that with MY father!
It's weird.......but I like it.
It's like some part of me does have THAT relationship with him.
Clearly I'm living through my husband...
I admit that!


One of the sayings of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) is that, we as human beings, should always look at the less fortunate.
Not the ones who have more than us.
But the ones who have less.
So that we may gain some perspective.
And I suspect, a person who has maybe never met their father.
Or lost their father early in life.
May look at me, and say, at least you have 'A' father.


I have to admit.......once that concept came to me........that made me start thinking.


To add on to it all.
I wanted to be rid of the self destructive habits.

Because I don't want to be a disappointed bitter female, who has never truly lived life, and has never allowed herself to be truly happy, because I didn't want to ever admit there was a problem.
A problem that I would work on.
And fix.
And heal.
Always work on it.
Never stop working on it.


So five years ago.......I managed to reconcile with myself and move past my daddy issues...
This has freed me.
Allowed me to make better choices for myself.
Allowed me to enjoy a fulfilling marriage.


But I just moved past the issue.....
It still needs to be kept a working progress.
And maybe one day, God Willing, I can reach the point of resolving it.
Or at least reach a point where I'll be comfortable calling him to just chat.
Or ask for a mundane favour.......Not just an atomic bomb situation.

My sweet friend and colleague may not know how her raccoon fiasco may have impacted me.
But if she ever reads this.....
Thank you for reminding me that I still have a working progress in play.

SERENITY......

Sometimes there comes those moments...
That you wish could last forever....
But then they wouldn't be so precious if they were forever I suppose.

Sometimes there come those moments...
When everything falls into place...
And the air filling you lungs smells so sweet...
When the taste of water is the best taste ever...

Sometimes there comes those moments...
When you suddenly feel the need to get on your knees...
And thank the Almighty......
For something.....
For anything......
For everything...
When in your prayer, the connection to your Lord is palpable....

Sometimes there comes those moments....
When everything seems to stand still....
And everything is still in constant motion....
But all appears to be in the exact perfect pace....

Sometimes there comes those moments......
When the smile is truly radiant inside....
And the birds sing the sweetest songs....
All in perfect harmony.....


Sometimes there comes those moments....
When everything seems right.....
Despite nothing really changing....
And you know everything WILL be okay....
When the heart and mind and soul are all truly at peace.....

Sometimes there comes those moments....
When contentment is truly attainable.....
And you feel your Creator's grace and mercy envelope you....
And nothing can shake you.......

Sometimes...............:-) :-) :-)

I choose....

So today's blog is inspired by my dear friend Grace Kay, who is probably the most persistently positive person I know! :-)
It's friends like her that I cherish and that I miss...

By far I've realized how much I enjoy blogging...And how much more sane it is, compared to social networking sites...which seem to be the epicenter of drama itself.
Social networking has its benefits...
It keeps me connected to my near and dear ones....And has reconnected me with people who life's circumstances caused the distance, not choice.
It's made me meet new exciting people.......
And enabled me to forge new genuine friendships.

But..........
It's become a real nagging feeling that I've been having sharing my world with close to 400 people at a go...
Sharing myself with all these people in a probably more intimate way that I would ever do in person....
Social networking has really obscured the lines of personal space....
In fact they are obliterated.
People who hardly know you, now feel ultra comfortable commenting on aspects of your life....however mundane.....at free will.
Of course the naysayers (and I confess am one of them) will often say, people can only comment on what you put out there....
I accept responsibility for that....
But where do you draw the line?
Shouldn't there be a line??

There seems to be a general tendency......And this extends to the wider society........For judgement calls to  be made at free will....
Usually these judgements are private.........But in the virtual world, they become very public.
I think bottom line is, it still baffles me, that people who have little or nothing to do with you otherwise, suddenly have the urge to comment and dictate about someone while hiding behind a computer screen...

This phenomenon I've realized not only towards myself....but many others.
I personally, am not affected by people's opinions....
And that is a genuinely from the bottom of my heart statement!
I know who I am as a person....And whatever opinion people may have, never shakes me.
But it does affect other people....
When you have women going into depression because they feel socially rejected....
Or teenagers committing suicide because of cyber bullying........
People feeling judged.
People feeling unwanted.
People feeling worthless.
All due to comments, 'likes', 'dislikes', quizzes, games, posts, hearts, surveys, number of pictures, hits.......that encapsulate the world of facebook, twitter and the like.
And so it gets me to think of the detriment of social networking.

Nevertheless, I veer off on a tangent....
The blog by my friend Grace, Learning To Learn, is a perfect example of breaking through those shackles....
We live, we learn.
And I think I've done my fair bit of learning from my 'life' on social networking.
Time to cut some strings from all the drama....
Time to break away from all the forced judgements....
I prefer to live in the real world.....

 And so as I sit here and watch the trees grow back their leaves...
The amazing array of colours in nature....
The magnificence of God's creation....
As the sun sets.....
And listening to birds twitter away......
I know what I choose.
I choose happiness. :-)

Balance....

I've been absent on my blog for a couple of months now...
And it seems every time that I am totally inspired to write...
When the words flow like water down a waterfall...
Without effort...
Ceaseless....
Are when I lay my head down on my pillow to sleep!

I just don't get it..
How can that be my most inspired time?
:-) I usually just shake my head......Resist the urge to get up......In the common interest and good of my  body and mind....I focus on the task at hand.....To get some sleep!

Life has really got on to that super highway....
Where there are no speed limits...
And no state troopers on the prowl to pull you over...
The pace of life can snowball into something else.
Have to keep a keen eye on it.

I love it though.
This is the pace at which I thrive....
I'm totally tired on most days...
Completely fatigued...
But I love it.
This is me.
A different kind of adrenaline junkie.

In the mix of it all though, I really have been trying to balance work, home, family, friends and play time.
This time round......New career in the works.....I was determined to do it different...
Do it right.
It's made my diary look like war zone :-) But I think I have somewhat succeeded.
And I thank Almighty God for all the wonderful people in my life who are there to share it...
And there to witness it...
And to hold me together.

Seems like the only thing that has really suffered though is the virtual life of Suburban Barbie...
Which needs some attention and rectification of that situation...
Rest assured though, she's alive and well, and living it in the real world :-)

Enjoy the song.........This is MY plan for the weekend....Nothing at all! :-)
What's yours??
The Lazy Song! - Nothing At All!